How to find your true path in music: seven things I wish I knew as a student

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At conservatory, we learn so much – to shape a phrase until it says exactly what we mean, to walk into audition rooms with material we’ve drilled into our hands a thousand times, to listen inside a quartet and play as one. In short, conservatory teaches us how to live wholly with music.

But it may not teach us how to find our lives in music once we step outside the schools’ walls. Orchestra seats and teaching studios are the paths most talked about. But finding one that’s truly yours may take some searching. Like most of us, I did that searching alone. That’s why I want to reflect on what I wish I’d known earlier in my journey. 

1. Relationships are the most important thing

Your classmates are your future colleagues. The cellist in the next practice room might one day recommend you for a quartet, a recording session, a job you’d never have heard about otherwise. Get to know people now, while the stakes feel low and the friendships can be real. And look outside your school, too, for people with whom you resonate artistically and emotionally, whether inside or outside your genre or field. Check in regularly. You never know with whom you’ll take your next step. 

2. Start gigging ASAP

Playing gigs doesn’t just bring extra income. They also put you in real-life crucibles to deliver music for an audience, alongside collaborators who may shape you. Come prepared, and not just well-enough for optimal conditions. Come prepared to excel if lots of things go wrong. Be kind and humble. And be good backstage and off it. People remember how you made them feel long after they’ve forgotten how you played. 

3. Learn a skill outside your lane

If you’re a violinist, learn some composition. If you’re a composer, learn an instrument. If you’ve only ever played classical, sit in a jazz jam. Versatility is underrated in the classical world. There is so much we can learn from musicians outside our own tradition. I’ll tell you for example that among the best decisions I made was studying the Hardanger fiddle, a Norwegian folk instrument, at conservatory. At the time it was really just for fun. But it turned out this has given me some really exciting opportunities, and since then I’ve booked many terrific projects because of it. 

4. Develop competency in the business side of music

Learn to book and negotiate – how to talk fees, read a contract, and set boundaries in an industry that may trample over them. Learn the basics of marketing and self-promotion: build a simple website, keep your social media honest and consistent, and have a press kit or recording ready before someone asks for one. And research grants. Make a list of the grants relevant to you and put the deadlines in your calendar, every single year. 

5. Go abroad

A semester, a year – nothing changes you quite like changing your environment. A new teacher will hear things in your playing that your old one stopped noticing years ago. A new city will strip away the assumptions you didn’t even know you were making. You’ll be uncomfortable, probably homesick – I certainly was when I studied abroad in the US and went to teach in Brazil – but that is the point. You come back not just a better musician, but someone with a wider sense of what’s possible, and a network that now spans more than one country. Look into exchange programmes, Erasmus, or short residencies. If a full year feels too big, even a few months abroad will leave a mark. 

6. Learn to handle rejection

Rejection may be redirection. Every door that closes may, if you look around, help you see ones just about to open. We get rejected in auditions, competitions, grants. So many bright dreams fade in the hard light of day. Learn to sit with that. Look at each difficult experience, not as evidence against you, but as evidence of your courage and faith. Stay open. Something better is on its way. 

7. Stop listening to the noise

This may be the hardest of all. Stop comparing yourself to others. You are on your own path and nobody else is walking it. So there’s really no useful comparison to make. As music students, we’re often fed a steady diet of everything we’re not good at – the intonation that needs work, or the technique that lags behind someone else’s. But make sure to take time to reflect on what makes you special, both on your instrument and as a person. Lead with that.

And be happy for each other’s success. Genuinely happy. We all need support to get anywhere in this field, and we reach so much further when we choose to support each other rather than compete. 

My own career has been so entwined with teachers and collaborators, whose wisdom and success I cherish as much as my own. I turned to several of them to ask what they suggest for conservatory students: 

Christina Sandsengen, Grammy-nominated classical guitarist, who chose a life of touring the world and was nominated for Best Classical Compendium for her album Tombeaux.

’For art to reach the heart, it has to be genuine. Through my guitar, I attempt to be brutally honest and give voice to emotions that are sometimes difficult to express. I believe that this honesty is what allows music to truly reach people, move them, and perhaps even help them heal.

’Once you find that honesty, be prepared for how much work and dedication it requires to bring it to life. Give it your whole heart and time. Don’t simply follow the crowd or what ‘sells’. Stay true to yourself and make the art that only you can make.’ 

Per Enoksson, professor and former concertmaster of the Gothenburg Symphony Orchestra

’I’ve met and guided many fine musicians over the years. We all have different strengths and weaknesses. I try to first help open the ”eyes” – or really, the ears – and then work on what’s difficult, but just as much on improving what’s already working well. I think it’s important not to focus only on weaknesses.’ 

Milan Vitek, violin professor, Oberlin Conservatory of Music 

’The most important thing is that you keep studying and keep improving. And when you’re truly good, the paths open up, and you’ll have more to choose from.’ 

Eru Matsumoto, Grammy Award-winning cellist

’School is only one small environment for measuring who we are, and it is easy to confuse what is praised around us with what truly matters to us. We can spend so much time trying to excel at what everyone else values that we lose sight of the things that genuinely excite us. But beyond school, the qualities that make us different, like unusual interests or niche passions, or even a broader mission to help others, can become the very things that make our lives meaningful and allow us to contribute something valuable and helpful to others.’

It’s easy to spend your 20s, and beyond, working toward someone else’s dream – chasing a version of a music career that exists mostly to please expectations that were never really yours. Stop every so often and ask: When am I having the most fun in music? What actually matters to me, in life and in music? And if I could do anything at all, without being judged for it – what would that life look like?

You already have everything you need in your hands and your ear. The rest – the networking, the gigging, the getting lost in a new city – isn’t a detour from the music. That’s how you find out what your path in music is actually for.